the softest break, the shape of me

There is phosphorescence
on the water tonight
as I stand
half in the waves
under the full moon
blue
each heartbreak rolls
and gathers itself up,
before falling,
washing
around
my ankles.


The breeze makes
the ocean
shimmer
under the moon.


I am done
now
my dear
once
you were -


I lift my feet
sink each step in
lapped by the tide
glowing in moments
blue
bright
twinkling,
pushpulling,
heartbreak.


If this
is all
well, old friend
I choose not to
I am done
settling -
I have things
to attend to
and I am whole
already.


Do not meagre me.
Let it be done,
or
really be here.


Tonight
I felt the softest
breaking
of my heart
yet.
So gentle
I almost missed it


As I sat in the dark
shadow of the hill
on that rock.
And when I walked back
across the creek mouth,
(where I had sent
7 tiny prayers in
7 paper boats
out to sea
in the light of the day),
when I walked back
along the shoreline,
the moon rose again,
over the hilltop this time,
and there it was -
in the sharpest soft light -
the shape of me


I realized
I am done.
No more waiting,
or yearning
for changes I vaguely hoped could be.
No more dancing with broken feet
around the truth.
I will not leave this door open
for you -
either walk away
or walk through.

--- 
​
(Where you shut your soul
I’ve walked before ~)


And the melodies stay the same,
I have been singing
these sounds
always